Nobody's perfect. When most families comprise of two working parents or guardians, single parent homes, co-parenting, mixed families, and just plain, normal mothers and fathers doing the best they can, mistakes happen. Mistake number one: parents too exhausted to parent.
This is perhaps our oldest parenting mistake. Back in "the day," parenting after a tedious day hunting and gathering likely looked a bit more like an episode of "Survivor" rather than "The Waltons." Parents or guardians put older brothers or sisters in control of younger brothers and sisters; kids who could prepare food were put to work, while Mom and Dad defended the clan from voracious animals and neighbors. In true Darwinian fashion, offspring who did not conform to family norms likely did not survive.
Today, well-intentioned, exhausted parents or guardians know they should not ignore misbehavior, yet occasionally find that it is just simpler to permit the TV and Playstation to parent their children. Tantrums are met with concessions. Kids learn how to act on their own reconnaissance instead of ask permission because they know results from over-tired parents can be bartered away through whining, manipulation, endurance, and even good behavior.
This leads us to mistake number two: parents and guardians that can't apply appropriate penalties because their child is exhibiting good behavior such as washing the car, vacuuming, and setting the table. Time off for good behavior only works in prison. In the home, children are in charge of their behavior choices, and parents are in charge of the related punishments and rewards. If kids are permitted to select their behavior and manipulate the reactions of their parents by acting "good," this can lead to power struggles, confusion, and more manipulation. Children shortly learn that their tired parents and guardians crave love and contentment (and a clean vehicle), and will do anything to cut down a punishment if their children reward them with good behavior and good attitudes.
Parenting is not for the faint-hearted, and perfection in parenting is a myth! There are many time management books for moms and dads to show how to conserve energy for parenting in the midst of a hectic working schedule. Always keep an eye out for good parental advice and do your best to use a time management plan if you are overworked.
This is perhaps our oldest parenting mistake. Back in "the day," parenting after a tedious day hunting and gathering likely looked a bit more like an episode of "Survivor" rather than "The Waltons." Parents or guardians put older brothers or sisters in control of younger brothers and sisters; kids who could prepare food were put to work, while Mom and Dad defended the clan from voracious animals and neighbors. In true Darwinian fashion, offspring who did not conform to family norms likely did not survive.
Today, well-intentioned, exhausted parents or guardians know they should not ignore misbehavior, yet occasionally find that it is just simpler to permit the TV and Playstation to parent their children. Tantrums are met with concessions. Kids learn how to act on their own reconnaissance instead of ask permission because they know results from over-tired parents can be bartered away through whining, manipulation, endurance, and even good behavior.
This leads us to mistake number two: parents and guardians that can't apply appropriate penalties because their child is exhibiting good behavior such as washing the car, vacuuming, and setting the table. Time off for good behavior only works in prison. In the home, children are in charge of their behavior choices, and parents are in charge of the related punishments and rewards. If kids are permitted to select their behavior and manipulate the reactions of their parents by acting "good," this can lead to power struggles, confusion, and more manipulation. Children shortly learn that their tired parents and guardians crave love and contentment (and a clean vehicle), and will do anything to cut down a punishment if their children reward them with good behavior and good attitudes.
Parenting is not for the faint-hearted, and perfection in parenting is a myth! There are many time management books for moms and dads to show how to conserve energy for parenting in the midst of a hectic working schedule. Always keep an eye out for good parental advice and do your best to use a time management plan if you are overworked.
About the Author:
Doctor. Kate Walker is a licensed professional therapist in the Woodlands, Texas. Her parental advice making certain understanding for beat parents and guardians seeking a time management plan, as well as tips for coping with misbehavior to demonstrate the simplest way to effectively parent while working.